Official State Portal · Anno 2026

Relaxed
Republic of Nurdistan

„Nurdistan is wherever we are.“

Read the Constitution
Current State Announcement

„It began with a slip of the tongue: someone said „Nurt“ instead of „yurt“ — and from the warm laughter a whole country was born: Nurdistan. Full of joy, yet with deep values.“

Proclaimed on 25 May 2026 at the yurt entrance · signed: The People (all present)
State Ticker

The state ticker is warming up …

Where Nurdistan Stands

Born from a slip of the tongue, full of joy — and yet with deep values.

Serenity

Nothing is so urgent it can’t wait for the tea.

Honesty

Once a year even official — on the Day of Honesty.

Hospitality

The kettle is always on. The corner of somsa is free.

Openness

Nurdistan is everywhere someone is hungry — borders are too hectic for us.

State Facts

All official, all relaxed. Verified in mild sunshine.

Form of State

Relaxed Republic

Official Language

Mishmash

National Dish

Whatever ends up on the table

National Anthem

All you need is Plov

Foreign Policy

Friendly, as long as there’s coffee

Territory

Wherever we are

National Dance

The Beetle Waltz

→ details below

Weather Today

pleasant

Tea-breeze
—
Somsa humidity
—
Serenity index
—

Forecast by the National Beetle Office.

National Animal

The Dung Beetle

Rolls on — persistent, never in a hurry.

Treasury

The Currency

Payment is made in the Nurdi — relaxed, friendly and always exact. One Nurdi splits into 100 Plov (the jingling small change). Change is given in tea if necessary.

Banknotes of the Relaxed Republic of Nurdistan

Nurdi notes

Light, friendly, with a dung-beetle watermark. Crumpling expressly permitted.

Coins of the Relaxed Republic of Nurdistan

Plov coins

Jingling encouraged. Also valid as lucky charms and occasionally as game pieces.

Official daily rates

set by the Finance Beetle, depending on its mood

The market beetle is determining today's rate …

1 Nurdi

= 100 Plov

official, fixed, incorruptible

1 Nurdi

= 3 bowls of tea

fourth bowl on trust

2 Nurdi

= 3 warm Somsa

corner-piece bonus included

1 US dollar

= far too hectic

foreign currencies are politely declined

Official Nurdi converter

What is your money really worth? (Spoiler: usually more tea.)

—

Enter an amount — the Finance Beetle calculates at its leisure.

All rates without guarantee. For complaints: breathe deeply, pour more tea.

The Articles

Constitution of the Republic

Adopted at the yurt entrance. Valid for as long as the tea holds out.

Listen to the constitution
01
§ 1

Serenity

All citizens of Nurdistan remain easy-going and relaxed at all times. Haste is considered a foreign concept and is tolerated only in emergencies.

02
§ 2

Honesty

In Nurdistan, people speak openly and honestly. Truth matters more than façade, excuse or dramatic fog machine.

03
§ 3

Vigilance

Everyone stays awake, attentive and mentally present. Those who dream may do so — but must know that they are dreaming.

04
§ 4

Self-Acknowledgement

Every citizen owns who they are. No one has to be someone else — except, perhaps, briefly and for fun during the national dance.

05
§ 5

Testing for Deception

Before any major decision, one checks whether one is subject to deception, illusion, confusion or too much tea.

06
§ 6

Preparedness

Nurdistan stays well prepared. Tea, Plov, a plan B and a calm head count as the national security reserve.

07
§ 7

Opportunities

Every chance is seized. Whoever spots an opportunity may take it — calmly, kindly and without unnecessary drama.

08
§ 8

Kindness & Joie de Vivre

Everyone stays friendly, enjoys life and treats others as if they might be invited to dinner at any moment.

09
§ 9

Unpredictability

Nurdistan remains unpredictable — to itself and to others. Standstill is avoided; boredom is kindly laughed out of the room.

10
§ 10

Non-Doing

The highest form of statecraft is non-doing. Those who force nothing leave room for what is right. Whatever falls into place on its own is accepted with dignity.

§ 11 · Territory

Nurdistan is wherever we are.

Its borders run not across maps, but around the people who happen to be laughing together, drinking tea, eating Plov or gazing calmly into the distance.

Those seeking Nurdistan need not travel. They need only pause for a moment, stay friendly and say:

„It’s good here. This is Nurdistan.“

„This constitution takes effect immediately — for as long as the flag waves, the tea stays warm and no one forgets to stay relaxed.“

National Sport

Mistball

„Nurdistan’s official national sport rests on the dignity of the dung beetle. The aim: to roll the Holy Nubbin as relaxedly as possible into the Yurt Goal.“

Teams

Two teams of 3–5 players

Equipment

The Holy Nubbin

A brown ball of cloth, leather or foam.

Pitch

Sand, meadow or carpet

As long as nobody takes it too seriously.

01 Roll only, never throw

The ball may only be rolled with hands, feet or dramatic full-body effort.

02 Beetle posture mandatory

Whoever guides the ball must walk slightly stooped. Elegance is forbidden.

03 Backwards bonus

Rolling into the goal backwards earns two points and the honorary title Top Beetle of the Day.

04 Plov break

After every third goal there is a short Plov or tea break.

05 Feinting allowed

Distraction manoeuvres are permitted — but only if they are obviously silly.

06 Non-Doing joker

Once per match a team may do absolutely nothing for 30 seconds. If it confuses the opponent, it counts as a tactical success.

07 Kindness duty

After every collision one says: „Strong beetle, brother.“

08 Winning condition

The team with the most points wins — or the team that looks the most relaxed.

Traditional battle cry

„Roll the Nubbin ere the sun goes down!“

National Dance

The Beetle Waltz

colloquially: „The Stooped One“

Nurdistan’s national dance is performed slightly bent forward — in the spirit of the dung beetle. One hand balances the tea bowl, which must under no circumstances be spilled; the other rolls an invisible Nubbin. It is danced emphatically slowly, with dignity and preferably backwards.

Elegance is — as in Mistball — expressly forbidden.

Musical accompaniment

Nationalhymne „All you need is Plov“

Tempo as you please. Whoever loses the beat never really had it — and simply dances on, relaxed.

Mandatory pause after every third figure — the Plov break.
If someone spills the tea, the dance starts over. Voluntarily.

The five figures

01 Bow to the Tea

One leans towards the bowl and politely asks its permission.

02 The Beetle Step

Three steps forward, four back. Backwards counts — just as in Mistball — for more.

03 The Nubbin Roll

Circling hips, as if rolling a sacred ball with dignity across the sand.

04 The Plov Break

Standstill with a smile. Eyes closed, cauldron in mind. Mandatory.

05 The Great Non-Doing

The dance ends by simply stopping and standing there contentedly (cf. § 10).

8 seconds in · 8 seconds out

Breathe along with the figure. If you doze off, you’ve done everything right.

State Sport II

Nurdi Yoga

officially: “The Art of Dignified Idleness, Seated”

Where the Beetle Waltz celebrates movement, Nurdi Yoga celebrates the opposite: the perfected art of staying put. It is practised strictly in the shade, with a bowl of tea within reach and the firm intention of doing absolutely nothing. Breathing follows the state rhythm — eight seconds in, eight seconds out. Gravity handles the rest.

Ambition is — as everywhere in Nurdistan — expressly undesirable.

The five asanas

01 The Resting Beetle

On your back, legs in the air, utterly still. The beetle deliberately declines to right itself.

02 The Sagging Yurt

Let the shoulders drop until they hang like the roof of a weary yurt. Lower is always an option.

03 The Tea Bowl

One hand cradles the bowl in the mind. Spill it in thought, and the mind begins again.

04 The Waiting Plov

Sit like a pot that knows good plov takes time. Hurry nothing.

05 The Great Non-Doing (King’s Asana)

The culmination: you simply sit. No thought, no goal, no nubbin. Of constitutional rank — see § 10.

Way of Life

Culture & Statecraft

Tea as a Tool

Diplomacy begins with the pour. No conflict survives the second cup.

Plov Unites

One pot, one people. Whoever helps cook belongs.

Flag in the Wind

As long as it waves, all is well. In a dead calm, we wave it by hand.

Improvisation as Statecraft

Plans are welcome. They like to change and are celebrated anyway.

Kindness as Duty

Constitutional rank. Unkindness is treated as a technical fault and gets repaired.

Nurdish for Beginners

The official language is “Mishmash.” A few words to keep up:

Nurte
Misheard “yurt” — founding myth and state name in one.
Knubbel
The sacred dung ball the national sport revolves around.
Plov
Rice dish & way of life. Also the small change: 100 Plov = 1 Nurdi.
Somsa
A filled pastry. The corner piece is traditionally free.
Mishmash
The official language. Works surprisingly well.
Yurt
The tent at the founding site. Please pronounce it carefully.